Opening Up the Conversation
As a segue into my inquiry, I conducted individual conferences with students to both explain my inquiry and most importantly set the tone for the restorative approach that I would be implementing. To do so, I followed a model recommended by Stanford, centered on school-based restorative practices. The format of this particular model was divided into four parts in which the role of listener and speaker constantly shifts. The four parts are outlined below:
1. The student is asked to think about my practice and pedagogy as it pertains to them and voice their disagreements/concerns (i.e. Is there anything that I ever did that you disagreed with or that hurt your feelings?)
2. The teacher acknowledges and responds to the students’ disagreements/concerns and opens up the conversation for dialogue
3. The student and teacher discuss students’ overall behavior
4. The student reflects on the conference in writing
These four components of the conference are essential in not only giving students the opportunity to have their voices heard, but to experience what it feels like to truly and effectively communicate. In order to foster the type of relationship that would support my restorative approach, I felt it was necessary to incorporate such an activity as my foundation. As illustrated by Nakkula and Toshalis(2006), “Teachers who model ways of being in a relationship for students teach more than content knowledge; they teach respect, care, collaboration and a host of skills necessary to ensure success and personal happiness. This is mentoring in the fullest sense of the word; and it is teaching that reflects a particular professional ethic, an ethic of learning through care and support. Educational mentoring captures the essence of this model for us; it is educating to care- for oneself, for others, and for the world around us; and it is educating through care- through caring for the students as the pedagogical priority” (Nakkula & Toshalis, p.98) Building on the educational mentoring model, I saw this as the perfect introductory activity into my inquiry that both acknowledged students’ autonomy and demonstrated the value of honesty and communication. As I encountered each individual conference implications of student's own desires to communicate became quite evident.
1. The student is asked to think about my practice and pedagogy as it pertains to them and voice their disagreements/concerns (i.e. Is there anything that I ever did that you disagreed with or that hurt your feelings?)
2. The teacher acknowledges and responds to the students’ disagreements/concerns and opens up the conversation for dialogue
3. The student and teacher discuss students’ overall behavior
4. The student reflects on the conference in writing
These four components of the conference are essential in not only giving students the opportunity to have their voices heard, but to experience what it feels like to truly and effectively communicate. In order to foster the type of relationship that would support my restorative approach, I felt it was necessary to incorporate such an activity as my foundation. As illustrated by Nakkula and Toshalis(2006), “Teachers who model ways of being in a relationship for students teach more than content knowledge; they teach respect, care, collaboration and a host of skills necessary to ensure success and personal happiness. This is mentoring in the fullest sense of the word; and it is teaching that reflects a particular professional ethic, an ethic of learning through care and support. Educational mentoring captures the essence of this model for us; it is educating to care- for oneself, for others, and for the world around us; and it is educating through care- through caring for the students as the pedagogical priority” (Nakkula & Toshalis, p.98) Building on the educational mentoring model, I saw this as the perfect introductory activity into my inquiry that both acknowledged students’ autonomy and demonstrated the value of honesty and communication. As I encountered each individual conference implications of student's own desires to communicate became quite evident.
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click here for more complete conversation responses and reflections from students
It was no surprise that opening up the conversation would be most difficult, especially for my students who seemed caught off guard by the initial question-Is there anything that I ever did that you disagreed with or were hurt by? Prior to asking the question, I imagined that students would feel a little hesitant or uneasy about sharing their disagreements and concerns. I foresaw the potential discomfort in revealing their own personal thoughts and feelings which added a level of vulnerability in their response. In an effort to relieve this sensed and visible discomfort, I reminded students that I genuinely cared about their thoughts as it would inform my interactions with them and aide in building a more cohesive relationship with them. While students remained a little hesitant, it did not take long before specific accounts surfaced and students expressed their consequent feelings. After hearing students’ accounts coupled with their interpretations and reactions, I discovered a clear distinction in
the overall response of students based on gender.
All of the girls recalled an instance when they were punished for talking to me and I did not "stick up" for them. Though the mention of these cases did not surprise me, I was shocked that it was one they all had in common and that no other instances resurfaced. In recounting the circumstances, the girls expressed sincere disappointment in my lack of defense and perceived abandonment. I admitted to them that the instance in which they described was a conflicting situation for me, I explained my response or lack thereof, and apologized for causing those feelings which they conveyed. For one girl in particular, she added the fact that I did not always know what was going on whenever I was reprimanding students. Though she did not display any of the feelings mentioned before, it was clear that it was important to her that I made an effort of being more aware of the interactions taking place between students in the class before taking to action. In each instance the girls seemed very receptive and respectful of my response. There were no interruptions and no arguments. The same held true for the boys mainly because they acknowledged that they deserved all of my actions towards them. Hence there was not much to discuss.
click here for more complete conversation responses and reflections from students
It was no surprise that opening up the conversation would be most difficult, especially for my students who seemed caught off guard by the initial question-Is there anything that I ever did that you disagreed with or were hurt by? Prior to asking the question, I imagined that students would feel a little hesitant or uneasy about sharing their disagreements and concerns. I foresaw the potential discomfort in revealing their own personal thoughts and feelings which added a level of vulnerability in their response. In an effort to relieve this sensed and visible discomfort, I reminded students that I genuinely cared about their thoughts as it would inform my interactions with them and aide in building a more cohesive relationship with them. While students remained a little hesitant, it did not take long before specific accounts surfaced and students expressed their consequent feelings. After hearing students’ accounts coupled with their interpretations and reactions, I discovered a clear distinction in
the overall response of students based on gender.
All of the girls recalled an instance when they were punished for talking to me and I did not "stick up" for them. Though the mention of these cases did not surprise me, I was shocked that it was one they all had in common and that no other instances resurfaced. In recounting the circumstances, the girls expressed sincere disappointment in my lack of defense and perceived abandonment. I admitted to them that the instance in which they described was a conflicting situation for me, I explained my response or lack thereof, and apologized for causing those feelings which they conveyed. For one girl in particular, she added the fact that I did not always know what was going on whenever I was reprimanding students. Though she did not display any of the feelings mentioned before, it was clear that it was important to her that I made an effort of being more aware of the interactions taking place between students in the class before taking to action. In each instance the girls seemed very receptive and respectful of my response. There were no interruptions and no arguments. The same held true for the boys mainly because they acknowledged that they deserved all of my actions towards them. Hence there was not much to discuss.
Following the first two components of the conference, we smoothly transitioned into discussions surrounding their individual behavior, focusing on those demonstrated in my particular classes, but including others as well. Throughout these discussions, students were open and honest about their behavior/attitude in class, providing accurate descriptions. Their straightforward responses indicated that they were very much aware of their actions, the expectations, and the consequences for not meeting those expectations. However, students voiced some level of a lack of control in their behavior sometimes even attributing it to the actions of their peers or unfair and unrealistic rules.
Along similar lines, students admitted that their behavior remained unchanged after being warned or reprimanded, sharing that their responses are typically negative; they either argue or ignore and continue in their undesirable behavior.
These comments reinforced the whole purpose of our session- modeling effective methods of communication which is central to the restorative approach. They justified these sorts of responses as reactions to the very factors that they claimed inhibited their ability to control their behavior. Although the students did not take full responsibility for their behavior, they did recognize that it needed to change and that they were the ones who had to change it. This level of ownership was explicitly stated in their reflection after the conversation.
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In my opinion, the quality and tone of their final reflections were highly dependent on the quality and tone of the preceding components of the conference. Therefore I felt that although their reflections may have been limited they provided a more genuine response and a glimpse of how the students internalized the components of the conference. An example of this can be observed in students’ acceptance as initiators of the change they sought, but lack of any specific action plan in producing that change.
As far as students’ interpretation of the conference, all reflections depicted the conversation as a positive experience for various reasons. Collectively, students described a sense of mutual understanding, ease, comfort, no perceived threat, emphasis on honesty, and increased awareness which supported their positive experience. For me, it was critical that these sorts of characteristics be recognized and established by students from the very beginning as they would set the tone for the level of communication and quality of reflection responses throughout the inquiry.
In my opinion, the quality and tone of their final reflections were highly dependent on the quality and tone of the preceding components of the conference. Therefore I felt that although their reflections may have been limited they provided a more genuine response and a glimpse of how the students internalized the components of the conference. An example of this can be observed in students’ acceptance as initiators of the change they sought, but lack of any specific action plan in producing that change.
As far as students’ interpretation of the conference, all reflections depicted the conversation as a positive experience for various reasons. Collectively, students described a sense of mutual understanding, ease, comfort, no perceived threat, emphasis on honesty, and increased awareness which supported their positive experience. For me, it was critical that these sorts of characteristics be recognized and established by students from the very beginning as they would set the tone for the level of communication and quality of reflection responses throughout the inquiry.
click on images for larger view
Given their overall responses and reflection, I do think that students noticed the difference between our conversation and the rebuttals that ensued in receiving a demerit. During our conferences we simply listened, shared, and moved on which is something that rarely if ever occurred when discussing their behavior. However, I was unsure of how that would influence their response in the heat of the moment when a demerit was issued and there was little room for discussion. In those instances they were usually defensive and disrespectful as opposed to reflective and receptive.
I had yet to see how this would translate into the classroom in terms of both their behavior and their response to reminders and demerits. But it was my goal to continue to have these sorts of conversations with them throughout the inquiry and have them self-assess and reflect on their own progress throughout the restorative process. In order to do so I would have to provide them with the space to reflect on their behavior and encourage effective communication as support.
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Given their overall responses and reflection, I do think that students noticed the difference between our conversation and the rebuttals that ensued in receiving a demerit. During our conferences we simply listened, shared, and moved on which is something that rarely if ever occurred when discussing their behavior. However, I was unsure of how that would influence their response in the heat of the moment when a demerit was issued and there was little room for discussion. In those instances they were usually defensive and disrespectful as opposed to reflective and receptive.
I had yet to see how this would translate into the classroom in terms of both their behavior and their response to reminders and demerits. But it was my goal to continue to have these sorts of conversations with them throughout the inquiry and have them self-assess and reflect on their own progress throughout the restorative process. In order to do so I would have to provide them with the space to reflect on their behavior and encourage effective communication as support.
Previous Page: "My Ideal Environment" Next Page: "Circle"